Banished Healer Volume 1 Chapter 20

Narsena’s Regret

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—Narsena—

According to Ralma-san words, Onii-san didn’t give up just because he couldn’t use his healing magic and desperately trying to get a new ability.
…… However, even with that new ability, Onii-san was told to be untalented.

「Gh!」

… I imagined Onii-san’s grief at that time, I could feel severe pain in my chest.
Of course, that grief was nothing but imagination.
However, I had heard Onii-san’s lamentation when he was being oppressed for his lack of healing magic talent.

That was why I could clearly imagine Onii-san’s grief.

… Also, because I knew Onii-san’s past, I also felt regret.

「No, maybe it’s wrong to call him having no talent? After all, Raust learned about both magic power and ki in only a couple of months when other people would take years to do the same. Maybe rather than saying he has no talent, a genius would be a better word for him? It was a kind of talent a magic tool craftsman would want to get no matter what.」

While Ralma-san talking to herself in excitement, I bit my lips.
When Onii-san saved me, I swore to Onii-san I would become his party member.
I thought that I would protect him one day.
But, in reality, it was the opposite, I was the one being protected.

Even so, I thought I was at least supporting Onii-san’s heart.
Because Onii-san had become brighter now I joined his party.
That was why I thought I could be properly of help for Oni-san.

… But, now I couldn’t believe that either.

「But, even if that foolish disciple of mine is capable as a magic tool craftsman, that still says nothing about his talent or lack thereof as an adventurer. Then how can he gets that ability…… honestly, I don’t know, one thing I know is it’s impossible for me to imitate.」

Ralma-san’s speech had become more heated.
It was a matter of course that Ralma-san was excited.
Onii-san had achieved that much.

He, who was said to have no talent, worked so hard and finally got the ability to stand beside the world-class adventurer.
How much effort did that need?

…… But every time I remembered Onii-san’s greatness, I also reminded of his self-hatred.

Now, I could understand why Onii-san’s self-assessment was so low.

He was called having no talent and was oppressed, so he worked hard only to realize he was indeed had no talent.
Nevertheless, Onii-san kept trying desperately.
From that, he was able to get an amazing power.

…… And yet, despite doing his best, nobody recognized Onii-san’s effort.

How much did that hurt Onii-san?
That was something that I would never be able to understand.

… But, even in that situation, I couldn’t support Onii-san.

Knowing that fact, all I could feel was regret.
Rather than because not being able to do anything, I felt ashamed of myself who thought I was supporting Onii-san without noticing that.

「But well, that guy doing his best and reaching this far is all thanks to you, Narsena.」
「——Huh!?」

That was why I couldn’t hide my surprise when Ralma-san casually told me so.

◆ ◆ ◇

Because of Ralma-san’s casual comment, I was dumbfounded for a while.

「T-That’s wrong!」

However, my mind immediately restarted to correct Ralma-san unexpected misunderstanding.
The strength Onii-san got that Ralma-san recognized was unrelated to me.
Despite this, Ralma-san believed that Onii-san got his ability thanks to me, that was not something I could let pass.

…… No more of this please, I’m not that shameless to be able to put up with the lie.

「Even before I joined Onii-san’s party, he already had that ability…」

That was why I try my hardest to deny Ralma-san’s words.

「Is that so? But that foolish disciple of mine become much brighter like he’s another person when he’s with you right?」

「Eh……」

However, Ralma-san said that while tilting her head and drinking her tea.

「That foolish disciple, you see, I’ve taught him various things but even then he was still grumbling about wanting a companion all the time…… I never thought once he got the companion he desired so much he would start getting carried away…… Honestly, that’s gross.」

Ralma-san seemed to really feel grossed out from her distorted expression, at this point, she only stuffed her mouth with the sweets and barely paying attention to me.
This was just the usual Ralma-san, that was why I knew Ralma-san didn’t really aware of what she was saying.

—— Still, I started to think about what she just told me.

「Hics-」

The moment I understood that I started crying unconsciously.
It was true that I couldn’t support Onii-san in his most painful time.

Still, Ralma-san in her usual demeanor said that Onii-san became brighter thanks to me made me realize that I was indeed supporting Onii-san properly now.

「Hey, Narsena, about that guy…… huh? Why are you crying?」

When Ralma-san noticed I was crying, she became unusually agitated, even so, I couldn’t stop my tears.

That was how much I was glad that I could be useful for Onii-san.

「I *hics* habby….」

「Ahhh, what? What are you saying?」

I frantically moved my mouth to tell Ralma-san my feeling.
… But my words didn’t reach Ralma-san.
For a while, I tried to tell her I was crying not because of sadness, but I couldn’t communicate it well.
After looking at me with a confused expression for a while, she sighed and then put her hand on top of my head.

「… I don’t understand what you’re trying to say, but it’s fine Narsena. After all, you bear Analestria family’s name.」

It was a misguided consolation, but those words were still enough to cheer me up.
Yes, I’m a proud member of Analestria family.
With that thought on my mind, I made a vow.

Certainly, I couldn’t help Onii-san at all when he was truly in despair.
But, I will become Onii-san’s support, if there is something that hurt him, I would definitely help him.

「Hyesh!」

With those thoughts in mind, I looked toward Ralma-san and nodded.
It was in a nasal voice and might not be clear, but I loudly conveyed my feeling.
Without being aware of one fact.

Ralma-san who was patting my head was looking at the wall of the room.

And when Ralma-san said 「Analestria」 earlier, a sound could be heard from behind the wall she was looking at……

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